Perhaps you'd like to see our newest product? It's a fish that can swim, even without water. It can swim in air, water, soup, maple syrup, even a bathtub filled with bacon. Starting at the low price of $14999.99, you could own this very unique creature.
Any takers? If you order within the next 15 seconds, I'll also throw in a used tampon that I found behind a dumpster. You know you want it nerds
To order, just call 1-800-SUCC